Retreat Sailing

Retreat Sailing

Relationships and sailing

Traveling together puts a couple in an extended period of being together more than their average interactions. That extended period can either enhance a relationship, or it can blow up in their faces.
On a sailboat, you will share everything: the same food, same seasickness as well as the same experiences. You will learn when to let go and when times are tough, this is an amazing school of life. You will be immediately in proximity for all the trip, a few steps away, on the same flooring all the time, and instead of watching a movie on the couch together, you will fix many things during the sailing such as seal ports and lockers, drop the anchor…

Couples who leave their comfort zone grow closer together through the experience. The old flame can be ignited when a couple travels together. For sailing couples, it’s a triple fire addiction. Sailing and adventuring couples share common goals. The most important thing you can do in planning to sail together is to set goals. Adventuring is revealing. It brings out the best and the worst in a person. Strengths and weaknesses are quickly discovered. Couples who sail together experience fewer disagreements. Adventuring couples have adopted methods of understanding their partner and situations, accurately. Patience has become a virtue, as a consequence. Sailing couples tend to be more gentle and refrain from judgment. They are careful with each other’s feelings, practice tenderness, and avoid embarrassing their partner in front of others. They realize they are on the same team and refuse to criticize or destroy each other. Sailing and adventuring couples have a better sexual relationship. According to a survey, couples who travel together have a better sexual relationship than couples who don’t travel together. According to a new study from Expedia, travel was a significant contributor to improving health, weight loss, gaining confidence, and increasing sex drive.

As human beings, we are inherently afraid. Afraid of failure, afraid of what other people will think of us, afraid of being alone, afraid of change and the unknown, and afraid to let ourselves go and step outside of our comfortable little environment, never wanting to leave the path we’ve been told we’re “supposed” to take. As a couple running from a comfort zone, the reward is greater. You get to run together, towards something great – adventure. Sailing couples understand neither is perfect and that’s okay. Since you are together most of the time, there is a little space for ugly secrets. There are no facades. You have to appreciate your partner the way he or she is. Whether he snores or she has her underarm hair unshaved, adventuring reveals a bunch of ugly truths. And with this, there is little or nothing to hide. You can’t sail together without turning up some humor here and there. There are times when things just go horribly wrong and you have to laugh about it. Humor in relationships is important. Life cannot be serious all the time, and although I know that sometimes it has to be that way, no one can live like that constantly. You have to make room for a little lightheartedness if you want to have a balanced love life. Being able to laugh is healthy for everyone.

Romance goes way beyond what you see on cinema screens or read in a book. As an adventuring couple, romance is lived out of spontaneity and through a state of mind. Any scene, anywhere, could sparkle another moment of beauty. It is never about the money but the experience that adventuring together brings. This is why 86% of respondents in a survey of traveling couples said that their relationship still had romance alive in it, compared to 73% of respondents who never traveled together. Sailing couples live in the moment. The greatest sign of a successful life is not your bank balance or your material possessions – not your reputation either. The greatest sign of a successful life is your ability to live in the moment and be happy. When you’re somewhere unknown, it’s easier to feel the ground beneath your feet. The air surrounding you is void of the monotony of daily life that often creates a numbing effect. Sailing couples have only each other to turn to and fewer disruptions by external bodies or persons.

They prefer to stick with each other through challenges and differences. Couples who adventure together provide healthy companionship. Sailing together offers room for mistakes to be made and flaws to be revealed. However, there are challenges along the way. Couples who journey together understand the need for early forgiveness to move forward. Couples who have sailed together in the past relish the freedom and independence traveling provides. They find comfort in respecting each other’s solitude, privacy, and sense of presence. This provides another healthy angle to the progress of a healthy, working relationship. We have to mention the curse of boats poisoning relationships. One person who is spending all his time at a boat is talking about relationships: ‘Setting off as a couple on a yacht will do one of two things. It will either make it or break it. That’s it. Just one or the other. There are no in-betweens… and that is not at all a bad thing’.

‘Make it’ is an obvious gain, but equally, if it breaks it, the both of you are still far better off. For then both of you will know sooner, rather than later, that the person you are sharing your life with is the wrong person for you. People can go for five, ten, even twenty years in normal life and not really know the person they are living with. They only realize it when it is too late or when it is just too painful to do anything about it. But on the yacht… you’ll know in a matter of weeks, certainly no longer than a couple of months, and both of you will know it too. And, if it is wrong, it is easy to bring it to an end then. Believe me, nothing can make a bond closer than being together cruising when it is right. Nothing in the world. It seems the successful bond for the romantic couple is something that is largely preordained to be, or not to be and well beyond our making. On a cruising boat, there is no hiding. You will know who is right for you and you get to know pretty quick. Once discovered it is wrong your emotions will quickly accelerate away and that is not something that can be felt in isolation.

When the fundamentals are right all the challenges that a voyage around the world throws up for a couple are all worked out naturally without the least concern and the mundane can become a pleasure to do.

      Sources:

  1. https://www.sailsquare.com/blog/guides/living-boat-sailing-lifestyle-relationships/
  2. https://eoceanic.com/sailing/tips/24/57/how_do_romantic_relationships_fair_in_long-distance_cruising_situations?FAQ_ID=57&notify=
  3. https://bluewaterwalkabout.com/12-reasons-sailing-adventuring-couples-stay-together-longer/
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